


to rest my cheek to

by orphan_account



Category: Little Mix (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Pregnancy, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-06
Updated: 2015-09-06
Packaged: 2018-04-19 06:58:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4737008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Perrie steps past Jesy and inside the warm flat; it’s been rainy and cold for the past week, and Perrie feels like a wooly mammoth wandering around in her overcoat. She’s surprised she can even fit through the bloody door, given that she’s eight months pregnant but feels more like eleven. She’s not sure how she can get even bigger without physically bursting. </i>
</p><p>Or, the one where Perrie is pregnant.</p>
            </blockquote>





	to rest my cheek to

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thackyearwicket](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thackyearwicket/gifts).



“Surprise girls night!” Perrie says brightly as soon as Jesy opens the door. 

“Oh my god,” Jesy says in an American accent. “We haven’t had girls night in forever.” 

“Oh my god,” Perrie says back. 

She steps past Jesy and inside the warm flat; it’s been rainy and cold for the past week, and Perrie feels like a wooly mammoth wandering around in her overcoat. She’s surprised she can even fit through the bloody door, given that she’s eight months pregnant but feels more like eleven. She’s not sure how she can get even bigger without physically bursting. 

“Me and Jake did have a date night planned,” Jesy says, “but it was just to watch a movie here at home, so the more the merrier.” 

“Kinky.” Perrie leers, and Jesy leers back. 

“Where’s Jade?” Jesy asks, following Perrie as she waddles to the kitchen. Perrie rifles through the cupboards until she finds the half-empty box of Wagon Wheels she left last weekend. 

“She’s gone to her mum’s,” Perrie says. She’s so hungry all the time. Hungry and tired and cranky. Somebody should have told her that being pregnant would make her feel like a gigantic toddler. 

Just thinking about the size of her stomach makes her lay a hand flat across it. 

“Is the baby kicking?” Jesy asks excitedly, already crowding in close to lay her hands on Perrie’s stomach. 

“No, get off,” Perrie says, but she lets Jesy run her hands all over her stomach all the same. “Anyway, Jade’s mum’s been feeling a bit poorly, and Jade wanted to go play nurse for the weekend.” 

“Are you too big to fit on the train?” Jesy asks with a wicked smile, and darts away when Perrie weakly slaps at her arm. “I’m joking, obviously you’re still well fit.” 

“Liar,” Perrie grumbles, but she still preens a bit, then stuffs another Wagon Wheel into her mouth. “Where’s my favorite fiance of yours?” 

“He’s out at Tesco’s buying snacks,” Jesy says. “I’ll text him and tell him to get more.” 

“I love you,” Perrie says sincerely. She sneaks a peak at her own phone as Jesy furiously texts; Jade’s sent her a message. 

**home is boorrringg**

**at jesys** , Perrie sends back. **whats boring**.

 **ive watched hours of TOWIE** , Jade sends, then a row of frowny faces. **mums proper obsessed.im going to die watching TOWIE probably**.

Perrie sends back a row of skull and crossbones, followed by a happy ghost. 

**fat lot of help you are** , Jade sends instantly. Perrie can perfectly imagine the grumpy, scrunched face she’s probably making right now; Perrie smiles just thinking about it. 

“Stop,” Jesy says, throwing a tea towel at her. “You’re making your gross Jade face.” 

“I don’t even know what that means,” Perrie says. Jesy makes an exaggerated swooning-face, clasping her hands together and sighing while she does so. Perrie can’t help but laugh. 

“You’re just as bad,” she says, chucking the tea towel back at Jesy. “All we have to do is say Jake’s name and you look like you’re imagining what you want to do to him in bed.” 

“That’s because I am,” Jesy says smugly. “We bought this new toy the other day-” 

“Stop,” Perrie shrieks, covering her ears. “I’m an innocent little lamb, I won’t let you corrupt me.” 

“I used to share a flat with you,” Jesy says. “I know exactly how _innocent_ you’re _not_.” 

“Lies and slander,” Perrie says, then she burps. Jesy bursts out laughing. 

“Classy,” Jesy says. 

“I can’t help it,” Perrie whines. “Everything gives me heartburn.” She still stuffs another biscuit into her mouth; no need to waste them. 

“Come on, then, let’s choose a movie,” Jesy says. She grabs at Perrie’s arm and pulls her into the living room, and Perrie lets herself be dragged. 

She loves Jesy’s flat. Jade’s always making sure things get put in their proper place at home, but Jesy and Jake let the clutter pile up anywhere and everywhere. There’s a cluster of ugly clown figurines on the mantle, a mound of blankets heaped on the pouf, and a small collection of tea mugs on the table. It’s a right tip, in all honesty, but it’s exactly how Jesy was when she lived with Perrie, so Perrie always feels right at home. 

She lets herself down onto the sofa with a long sigh. 

“How you doing, love?” Jesy asks, perching next to her. 

“Good,” Perrie says brightly. It’s not a lie, exactly. It’s a half-lie. It’s a full lie, actually, but Perrie doesn’t much feel like dealing with the crushing doubt that’s threatening to overwhelm her at this particular moment, so she only smiles sunnily at Jesy. 

“Good,” Jesy says firmly, then, “Oh, there’s this horror movie I’ve been meaning to watch, let’s pop that in.” 

“I’m going to pee meself,” Perrie tells her. “I’m going to get scared and then wee all over your sofa.” 

“You’ll be fine,” Jesy says, already switching the movie on. 

Perrie sighs, but settles in to watch it all the same. It’s better than sitting by herself in bed and missing Jade and feeling generally terrible.

-

Perrie doesn’t pee herself, but every time she jumps the baby kicks at her ribs. By the time Jake makes it home and Leigh-Anne’s dropped by, Perrie’s firmly hiding her face in Jesy’s shoulder so she doesn’t have to look at the telly. 

“Is the little ghost child gone?” she asks as Leigh-Anne drops on the sofa to sit next to her. 

“There’s more than one now,” Leigh reports. She runs a quick hand through Perrie’s hair. “Best not to look up yet.” 

“I hate you,” Perrie tells Jesy’s shoulder. 

“Let’s watch Spice World next,” Leigh-Anne says. 

“Not without Jade,” Perrie says, sitting up. “She’s Baby Spice, she has to watch it with us.” 

“Who am I?” Leigh asks. 

“Who am I?” Jake asks immediately after. 

“Obviously you’re Sporty,” Jesy says. “Honestly, babe, you don’t even need to ask.” 

“Jesy’s Scary Spice,” Leigh-Anne proclaims. “And I’m Ginger, which leaves Perrie as-” 

“Posh!” Jesy crows. “You’re Posh, no getting around it.” 

Perrie screws up her face and sticks out her tongue. “I get to marry David Beckham,” she says. “I win at life.” 

“I’m telling Jade you said that,” Leigh-Anne says, and Perrie pretends to push her off the sofa. 

“Put it on,” Jesy demands, and Jake rolls his eyes but pops Spice World in anyway. 

“I’m texting Jade about this right now,” Perrie says, getting out her phone. “She’ll want to know how quickly she’s forgotten.” 

Leigh-Anne grabs her phone away before she can do anything. “Have you got nudes on here?” 

“I’d never,” Perrie says, aghast, just as Jesy crows, “I’ve seen them!”

“You traitor,” Perrie says, slapping lightly at Jesy’s arm. “You said you’d never tell about those.” 

Jesy waggles her eyebrows. “You looked proper sexy,” she leers. 

“You scarlet woman,” Leigh-Anne cries in a posh accent. “I can’t be seen with the likes of you.” 

“Alright, alright, put the movie on,” Perrie says loudly. 

“ _Now_ who’s forgotten Jade?” Jesy asks smartly. 

Perrie haughtily ignores her and settles back against the sofa. The baby kicks again, and Perrie makes a face; nobody told her that baby feet would feel like being stabbed with a rusty knife. 

There’s a lot of things she doesn’t know about babies. She absently rubs at her stomach, and tries not to think about the fact that in one more month she’s going to take home a real, live baby. It seems so strange, that after all the planning that she and Jade have done, and all the doctors visits just to get pregnant and all the stress of figuring everything out, she’s actually going to be a mum. She and Jade are going to be mums. 

Perrie doesn’t want to fuck up. 

“Should I wear the little black dress, the little black dress, or the little black dress,” Leigh-Anne’s saying as the movie starts up. 

“That’s my line,” Perrie cries, shoving all her morose thoughts right out her head. Best not to dwell on those, she tells herself firmly. 

After Spice World is over Jesy insists on putting Clueless in. Perrie makes it all the way to Cher burning the biscuits before she suddenly feels dead tired, and she lets Jake guide her to the guestroom with only a few yawned protests. She’s asleep before Jake can even turn the light off. 

-

Perrie wakes up slowly, vaguely aware that there’s something shifting around near her. When she manages to crack her eyes open she sees that it’s Jesy, settling on the bed at Perrie’s feet. 

“There’s a Jesy on my feet,” she says muzzily.

“There’s a Pezza on my guest bed,” Jesy says warmly. “Sleep well, love?” 

Perrie yawns and stretches, feeling grungy in her clothes from yesterday. “I had to wee about fifteen times. What are you doing today?” 

“Jake’s been called in to work,” Jesy says, tucking her feet underneath herself. “I’ve got no plans.” 

“You’re hanging out with me,” Perrie says imperiously. “I’ve got to buy a pram, that was Jade’s assignment for me while she was gone.” 

“We’ll call Leigh-Anne, and it’ll be a surprise girls weekend,” Jesy says. 

“Oh, Jade’ll be sad she missed it,” Perrie says. Her phone is on the side table, but reaching over her big stomach to get to it seems like too much of a hassle. “Get me my phone so I can see if she rang?” 

Jesy sighs, but still leans forward to fetch the phone for her. Perrie beams, then checks her messages. Jade did ring her early this morning, but didn’t leave a voicemail. Perrie can call her back later. 

Jesy brings her some toast with jam, and rings Leigh-Anne to demand that she stop by Perrie and Jade’s flat to get Perrie some clothes before coming over, then curls up next to Perrie to braid her hair. It’s nice and relaxing, in a way that Perrie hasn’t felt in awhile. Everything at home lately has been about building cribs and washing Baby Grows and looking up diaper bins. It’s not like Perrie can forget that she’s pregnant, but she can pretend for one morning that she doesn’t have any duties to get done. 

Eventually she texts Jade a chirpy, **good morning darling** , and Jade instantly replies with a row of smileys and hearts. **you rang?**

 **mum wanted to know if u want the china**.

Perrie definitely does not want any of Jade’s mum’s china. She and Jade have absolutely no use for it, and she’s pretty sure the set Jade’s talking about has decorative pineapples on it. She takes a silly picture of her face and sends it on instead of giving an answer.

 **thats what i said** , Jade replies cheekily, **but mum insisted i call and ask anyway. hows things**.

 **still at jesys** , Perrie says. **she brought me breakfast in bed, its like a spa day**.

 **wish i were there** , Jade sends back. **i could paint your nails**.

It’s stupid how much Perrie can miss Jade after only one day. She says as much to Jesy, who only rolls her eyes and goes back to looking at her tablet. 

**paint them next weekend** , Perrie suggests. Jade sends back a kiss and a monkey, which Perrie takes as a yes and an _I can’t talk more because mum needs me_. 

“Jade had to go,” Perrie whines, poking at Jesy with her toes. “Entertain me.” 

“No,” Jesy says, then sticks her tongue out at Perrie. 

Perrie shifts around, trying to get comfortable; it’s hard to do these days since the baby’s always pressing against _something_ inside of her. 

“Have you and Jake talked about kids?” Perrie asks. Jesy looks at her for a long minute, then sets her tablet aside. 

“We’ve talked about it,” she admits. Perrie snuggles into her side, and Jesy wraps an arm around her. “But we’ve both decided that it’s not for us, we think.” 

“No?” Perrie asks. “No little Nelson-Roche’s running around, terrorizing everybody?”

“My children would be angels,” Jesy says in fake outrage. “But no. Don’t get me wrong, we love them. Your little boy is going to be spoiled rotten, you know that. But I think that we love having our freedom a bit more than that.” 

Perrie sighs. “Good for you,” she says. 

“Yeah?” Jesy asks, tipping her face down to look at Perrie. “You’re not baby crazy now, insisting that everybody get pregnant with you?” 

“God, no,” Perrie says. “Then all the attention wouldn’t be on me. It’d be horrible.” 

Jesy laughs, long and low. It’s nice, talking like this. Perrie feels like she hasn’t got a chance to do this for awhile, and she’s missed hanging out with Jesy when it's just the two of them, how they did when they still lived together. 

“I used to play house when I was a little girl,” Perrie says. “And all the other kids would get mad because they wanted to play something else, and I wouldn’t let them. I’d make them sit and pretend that we were all a big family and I was the momma.” 

“You came home after your first date with Jade and talked about what you were going to name your future kids,” Jesy says dryly. 

Perrie laughs delightedly. “I did! God, I must’ve sounded like a nutter.” 

“Wasn’t the first time, won’t be the last,” Jesy says. 

“I’ve wanted a family for as long as I can remember,” Perrie says softly. She wishes that she’d known that when the time came for it to actually happen, she’d feel a bit terrified. 

Before Jesy can say anything, there’s a loud, “Hallo,” that travels through the flat, and a minute later Leigh-Anne sticks her head in the room. 

“It’s your errand girl, come with goodies,” she says, then wastes no time crawling into bed with them to make a huge pile of limbs. “You lot stink.” 

“We haven’t showered yet,” Perrie whines. 

“Go on with you, we have shopping to do,” Leigh-Anne orders, and Perrie regretfully leaves them on the comfortable bed to wash up. 

After Perrie takes a normal-timed shower and Jesy takes the longest shower that’s ever existed, they order takeaway curry from Perrie’s favourite place - even though there’s a closer one - and Perrie manages to badger Leigh-Anne into giving her a foot rub. By mid-afternoon she feels a little less anxious than the day before, and almost like herself again. 

Eventually she manages to drag herself out of Jesy’s flat, and they hit the shops for a pram. 

“What about this one?” Jesy asks, pointing to a fancy looking pram that’s all done up inside with green fluff. 

“It looks nice,” Perrie says, looking round. The shop is filled to the brim with baby things - cribs and diapers and swingsets and moses baskets. Perrie feels lost just looking around, and one of the prams look like what she wants, but she’s not even quite sure what that is. “Is it safe enough?” 

“They’re not allowed to sell them if they’re not safe enough,” Leigh-Anne says. “This one’s got only one front wheel so you can go jogging with the baby.” 

“When have I _ever_ wanted to go jogging?” Perrie asks. She checks the price tag on the one that Jesy’s looking at, then drops it quickly. “Jesus Christ.” 

“What?” Leigh-Anne asks, as Jesy grabs for the tag. 

“Who has that kind of money?” Jesy says. “What, does it come with a butler as well?”

“Or a nanny to change nappies,” Perrie says. “I could do with one of those. I’ve never changed a nappy before.” 

“What, never?” Leigh-Anne asks. “Not even baby-sitting? Or with your nieces or nephews?” 

Perrie shakes her head, and tries not to think about the loads of baby stuff she’s never done before. 

“You’ll learn quick,” Jesy says. “Oh, this one’s way less money, come over here.” 

Perrie obligingly trots over to the new pram Jesy’s inspecting; it looks the exact same as the other one.

“Is it different?” she asks. The inside maybe looks a little less green. 

“It’s not a carrycot, car seat, and moses basket all-in-one,” Jesy says.

“Right, yeah,” Perrie says. She should’ve known that, probably. They don’t have a moses basket yet, she doesn’t think. She’s not sure if they need one, or if Jade’s thought of it, or if she’s meant to be looking for one as well as a pram, because apparently they can be the same thing. 

Jesy’s still saying something, and Perrie nods like she’s actually paying attention. She knows she probably should be, but there’s just so much to remember. Not just about the pram, but about everything. She’s going to cock it all up, she knows she is. 

“What’s it like?” Leigh-Anne asks, appearing next to her elbow. Perrie jumps a foot, and the baby kicks hard in response. 

“Fucking hell,” Perrie says. “Warn a girl. What’s what like?” 

Leigh-Anne nods towards Perrie’s stomach. “Being up the duff.” 

“It’s like carrying a boulder on my frontside,” Perrie says. “I can never get comfortable anymore, and I’m not allowed to sleep on my back because I might stop breathing.” 

“God,” Leigh-Anne says, obviously appalled. “You might stop _breathing_?” 

“That’s all the boring stuff,” Jesy says, draping an arm around Perrie’s shoulders. “What about the fun stuff with pregnancy?” 

“It’s, well,” Perrie rubs a hand over her stomach. “It’s like- sometimes I lay in bed and I just feel him kicking and turning round, and it’s like I already have this bond with him, you know? Like he’s already this little person that I know and love even though I haven’t met him yet. He’s just- he’s mine, yeah? He’s my baby.” 

Leigh-Anne coos, and Jesy smiles and briefly tightens her grip around Perrie’s shoulders. “I’m going to be the fun boozy aunt,” Leigh-Anne proclaims loudly. “Letting him steal drinks of my vodka at fourteen, teaching him to always carry a flask, the whole deal.” 

“So you’ll be the alcoholic aunt, then,” Jesy says. Leigh-Anne makes an outraged face and reaches around Perrie to tickle at her. 

“Well _I’ll_ be the responsible aunt,” Jesy says, once she’s wormed away from Leigh-Anne’s wiggling fingers. “I’ll make sure he gets all his homework done on time and passes all his A-Levels.” 

“You’d never,” Perrie cries instantly, while Leigh-Anne practically doubles over in laughter. 

“And I’ll make sure he brushes his teeth the appropriate amount and the he’ll never eats sweets after tea,” Jesy continues. Even Perrie’s laughing now, unable to stop herself. “And I’ll teach him how to properly make a bed and wash behind his ears.” 

“Have you run out of responsible things to say?” Leigh-Anne asks. “Were those all you can think of?” 

“The day you yourself learn to properly make a bed I’ll eat me own toes,” Perrie says. 

“Rude,” Jesy says. 

“You can start being responsible by paying for this pram,” Perrie says pointedly. 

“The baby’s not _born_ yet, I can’t start until then,” Jesy says in an American voice. 

“Oh my god, what’s wrong you with?” Leigh-Anne says back, also in an American voice. 

“Well someone’s got to pay for this, so I guess I will,” Perrie says, rolling her eyes in fake exasperation. She grabs the cheaper pram Jesy was looking at, and Jesy tucks her arm into the crook of her elbow while Leigh-Anne slides an arm around her waist, and they march through the aisles of the shop just like that. 

Perrie loves her girls. She feels safe tucked between them, even though she still does miss Jade. It’s hard to feel scared when she feels so loved. 

-

 

After tea that night Jake breaks out the wine, and Perrie pouts every time one of them takes a drink. 

“I just want one whiskey sour, is that so wrong?” Perrie says, watching enviously as Jesy purposefully holds her gaze and takes a huge gulp of wine. 

“You’ve brought this on yourself,” Leigh-Anne says sanguinely. “Top me off, there’s a love.” 

**the girls are bein mean** , Perrie texts to Jade.

 **who do i have to fight** , Jade sends back. **let me at em,i’ll take em all on**.

 **your teeny tiny** , Perrie texts. 

**but i’m scrappy**. 

Perrie smiles down at her phone, feeling ridiculously fond. “Jade wants to fight everyone for my honour.” 

“She’d take me,” Jake says. “I’m weak, these arms are just for show.” 

“What arms?” Jesy says, and Jake glares at her spitefully. “I’m only taking the piss, they’re proper huge and manly.” 

Jake sits back, mollified.

“When does Jade get home?” Leigh-Anne asks. 

“Tomorrow,” Perrie sighs. They’ve been inseparable ever since they first met, and even three days apart feels entirely too long. Perrie misses curling up next to Jade in bed at night and falling asleep to her even breathing. She even misses the cute little whuffling snores that Jade makes when she’s deep asleep. 

**come home** , she sends, a bit pathetically.

 **soon** , Jade says. **mums trying to guilt me into staying longer, and talked about buying you a train ticket up. i think she’s trying to trp you into having the baby here so she can be the 1st to see it**.

 **god no** , Perrie says, making a face at her phone. **me mum would insist on being in the delivery room**. 

**i’ll save you from horror** , Jade says. 

“Perrie’s doing gross face again,” Jesy cries. 

“You’re gross,” Perrie fires back. “I’m putting the phone away, alright, stop taking the piss.” 

“Jade can have you every other day, it’s our turn,” Leigh-Anne whines, grabbing Perrie round the waist and holding on tight. 

“Geroff,” Perrie says, but it’s only for show. She can’t help the smile that’s blooming across her face. “Jesy, I’m staying here again tonight.” 

“I see we don’t get a say in it,” Jake jokes. Jesy’s lips are pursed and she looks a bit pinched for a second, but it’s gone almost as soon as it appears. 

“If that’s alright,” Perrie adds.

“Obviously you’re always welcome here,” Jesy snorts. “Don’t even try to leave now, you’ve made your bed and you have to lie in it.” 

“Literally,” Leigh-Anne adds. 

“Perrie, do you want a fizzy drink or anything?” Jake asks, already getting to his feet. “And do you girls want to pop in a movie? Is it a Mean Girls night or a The Craft night?” 

“Oh my god,” Leigh-Anne says. “You have him trained so well.” 

“I know,” Jesy says smugly, as Jake goes off to fetch Perrie a Ribena. 

Perrie closes her eyes and relaxes against the pillows. If she ignores her problems they can just go away, she reasons. There’s no need to be uneasy when she’s surrounded by such lovely people. 

-

Jesy’s not waiting for her in the morning, so Perrie pads towards the kitchen to find that she’s sipping at tea while Jake’s manning the stove, whistling happy. 

“Breakfast?” Perrie asks, curling up in the chair next to Jesy. She absently starts playing with a loose ringlet of Jesy’s hair that’s escaped her messy ponytail. 

“Jake’s doing a fry-up,” Jesy says. “Hey, come help me find my book, will you? I lost it somewhere in the living room.” 

“Alright,” Perrie says. She feels mildly confused, but follows Jesy out of the room all the same. It’s not hard to find the book Jesy was reading; it’s laying directly on the sofa. “Was this a set-up?” 

“No,” Jesy says. “Well, yes. I just want to make sure you’re alright.” 

“Yep,” Perrie says brightly. 

“I know you’re not,” Jesy says, not unkindly. “You’ve been a bit off, and you haven’t left my flat all weekend. What’s going on?” 

Perrie feels like an absolute idiot. “Oh,” she says. 

“Don’t think I didn’t notice,” Jesy says. Perrie sits down and covers her face with her hand. “No, no, don’t do that.” 

“I didn’t mean to impose or, or, or ruin your weekend,” Perrie says. She feels a bit like crying. 

“You didn’t,” Jesy says instantly, sinking down to sit next to her. “Only I noticed that you seemed a bit off and that you didn’t want to go home, that’s all.” 

“I’m fine,” Perrie says. It’s a complete lie. 

“Pez,” Jesy says, sounding stern and gentle; exactly like a mum would. 

“You’d make a good mum,” Perrie says. “You’d be brilliant.” Her breath catches.

“I’m calling Jade,” Jesy says, already reaching for Perrie’s phone. “Something’s wrong, and you won’t tell me, so- oh, Jade, it’s Jesy,” she gently slaps at Perrie’s hand when she tries to knock the phone away. “Perrie’s upset but won’t tell me why, you should talk to her.” 

Perrie sinks back into the sofa. She’d thought she was doing good this weekend, with acting normal, but apparently not. Jesy looks like she’s listening intently to Jade, then she turns to Perrie and hands her the phone. 

“I’m going to the kitchen,” she announces. “You talk about whatever it is you need to.” 

Perrie takes the phone and watches her leave the room, then lifts it to her ear. 

“Babe,” Jade says straight away, “are you alright? Jesy’s got me worried.” 

“Oh, I, um-” Perrie swallows. “I don’t know. I’ve felt a bit rough this weekend. 

“Pezza, what’s wrong?” Jade asks gently. She sounds so lovely and like she’s right next to Perrie, instead of hours and hours away. Perrie knows exactly how she’d look - her eyes would be wide and earnest, and she’d tuck her hair behind her ears like she always does when she has something serious to say. There’s always been something soft about Jade, like she’s made up warm cotton blankets and marshmallow hot chocolate and rainy days spent inside with a nice cuppa. Perrie closes her eyes and just listens to Jade breath for a long minute. 

Perrie fell in love with Jade after two dates, and she’s never fallen back out. She blinks, willing herself not to cry. 

“What if I can’t do it,” she says eventually. Her breath catches halfway through. 

“Do what, love?” Jade asks. 

“ _It_. _This_. What if I can’t-” Perrie breaks off to wipe at her watering eyes. “What if I can’t be a good mother?” 

“You’ll be a great mum,” Jade says without hesitation, sounding concerned. “Perrie, what’s wrong? Where’s this coming from?” 

“I don’t know,” Perrie says. “You left, and I suddenly got so afraid. What if I buy the wrong pram? What if I get one that’s, that’s- broken? Or summat?” 

“Pez-”

“What if I don’t know how to feed him?” Perrie says. The baby flutters a bit, like he knows she’s talking about him. “I don’t even know if babies drink water _and_ milk, shouldn’t I know that?” 

“Perrie,” Jade says again, but Perrie doesn’t want to stop talking now that she’s started. 

“I’m selfish,” she hiccups. The tears are streaming down her face, now, and instead of trying to brush them away she lays a hand on her stomach. “Last week I ate all the Wagon Wheels and told you it was Leigh-Anne.” 

“I already knew that, Leigh-Anne hates Wagon Wheels,” Jade says. “And if you’re selfish, I’m just as bad. I told my mum I already knew what had happened on Coronation Street, but I just didn’t want to sit and watch it with her.” 

Perrie laughs wetly. “You’re always great,” she says. “You could never be a bad mum.” 

“And neither will you,” Jade says. 

“There’s all this stuff I don’t know,” Perrie says. “Shouldn’t I know things? I’m going to actually have a baby, I need to know how they work.” 

“You know the basics,” Jade points out. “You know that he’ll need feeding, and sleep, and love. All the rest, we’ll figure it out as we go. Or read so many baby books that we’ll be the best prepared mums that’ve ever existed.” 

“Aren’t you scared?” Perrie asks, so low that even she can barely hear it herself. 

“Of course I am,” Jade says instantly. “We’re going to have a little human that depends on us. That’s dead scary, Pez. But if there’s one thing I know in life, it’s that you’ll be a great mum. I’ve never had any doubt about that.” 

“Yeah?” Perrie sniffs. 

“Where did this come from?” Jade asks. “You were fine when I left on Friday.” 

“I dunno, I started looking up prams online, and then I found this mum forum-” 

“Oh, babe,” Jade says. “Stay away from the internet right now, yeah?” 

“Well that’s common sense in _retrospect_ ,” Perrie says, and Jade laughs. “My feelings are all over the place.” 

“I know,” Jade says. “The other day you happy cried while we were watching Bake Off.” 

“Those biscuits came out perfectly,” Perrie says petulantly. "That was worth crying over." 

“Next time tell me if you’re feeling poorly,” Jade says. “Even if I’m away, I want to know these things.” 

Perrie sniffs again. “I didn’t want to worry you, on top of everything with your mum.” 

“Please, worry me,” Jade says. “I’m here for you, I promise.” 

“I love you,” Perrie says. She feels like crying again a bit, but it’s not a bad thing this time. 

“I’ll be home tonight,” Jade says. “I can’t wait to see you, it was terrible not being able to fall asleep with you.” 

“We’re such saps,” Perrie laughs, still a bit wetly. 

“We’re amazing,” Jade says firmly. “Chin up, love. We’ll be okay. We’ll be great.” 

“Yeah,” Perrie says. “Love you.” 

“Love you,” Jade says back, then hangs up. 

Perrie takes a second to wipe at her face again, then makes her way back to the kitchen. She hovers in the doorway and watches Jake whip at Jesy with a towel while she squeals, then steps in when Jesy jokingly threatens to throw the plates of food at him. 

“Not my breakfast,” Perrie says, snatching a plate away from Jesy. 

“You all good, love?” Jesy asks, leaning against the fridge and crossing her arms. Perrie pops a bite of sausage into her mouth, trying not to moan at how good it tastes. “You can take your time and answer after you’re done making love to the food.” 

Perrie flips her two fingers. “I’m good,” she says, reaching for another sausage. It’s not even a lie this time.


End file.
